To avid readers:

Recently we were attacked by the vicious Trojan-Worm-Virus coalition.  Never you fear!! Our crack internet defense team responded quickly and effectively.  We are once again clean as a whistle.

To Attackers:

We know who you are… We know where you work… We know what you were trying to do… We have already taken actions, as you’re reading this the Feds are closing in on you.  They’re getting closer with every moment you wait.  Bruno in the big house has your name.  Enjoy the Hollidays!